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Desideratum Below are the 10 most recent journal entries recorded in the "Desideratum" journal:

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October 5th, 2009
02:25 pm


Writer's Block: Sick day
When you get sick, do you prefer to go it alone or be doted upon by a friend, partner, or parent? Do you usually go to work or school or stay home?
When I'd get sick, my friend would bake or buy cupcakes for me.

This was sort of a bad idea, but the "Awww, you love me <3" always more than made up for the  "Ooog, my stomach."

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October 1st, 2009
10:23 am


Writer's Block: Agree to disagree
Have you ever stopped being friends with someone over differences in political views? Are there any issues that are so important to you that you cannot be friends with someone who holds a contrary opinion?
I don't know if I have, but I'm sure I would, and I've definitely stopped relationships from becoming friendships over politics. It's a funny subject -in the US at least*, it is separate from everyday talk, not ever something you just chat over, but politics affects people very personally (this is, I think, why no one ever talks about it. Which makes sense at the same time I think it's weird). Politics in the US touches on religion, who is or is not a "real American," race, etc., things that are at the heart of who people are.

Like feminism -there's a whole crapload of feminism that is explicitly political, but feminism is also extremely personal. When I meet someone who rejects the idea that I am a thinking, feeling human being who is the equal of any other human being, even the male ones, I can't be friends with them. It's hard for me even to pretend to be nice and I know I've probably hurt some clueless dolt's feelings about it, but I don't care much.

*I've heard that in other countries politics is like the weather -bring it up with a stranger in the elevator if you want. In Israel, I hear you can bring it up whenever, and you can expect fights about it, but you can most likely still be friends after the fight.

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September 25th, 2009
05:17 pm


Writer's Block: Sleep on it
Did you ever say anything to someone in anger that you lived to regret? Did you apologize? If so, did it bring you closer?
Dur, of course.

Is this up here because it's almost Yom Kippur?
יום כיפור
Yeah, Hebrew font works!

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September 18th, 2009
04:26 pm


This is my Happy Place

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September 16th, 2009
04:46 pm


In which some OTHER English majors are childish
So as an English major, sometimes I get people telling me I read too much into things and I usually fire back with, "Well, you know what Aristotle said about that!" and often enough they don't (but not always; this is always a gamble), so I feel justified in feeling superior with my reading-too-much-into-stuff-ness.  But today in class, I was paying attention long enough* to catch some talk about how conversations were sex and water was pregnancy or sex or both or something.

And it reminds me of something someone told me once in Freshman year, that sex in fiction is never actually sex. And now I'm thinking that everyone around me is just immature.

How about if a conversation means "conversation?" Hmm? Or, maybe, if "we had sex" meant "we had sex?" This just feels . . . somewhat like a double-bind, like there's no room in this construction (of how to read) for actually talking about sex. There's no way to discuss the act itself, nor its physical, social, emotional, etc. consequences or what factors went into anybody having the sex in the first place. There's just titillation if the sex is something you need to read into a text to find, or there's "it's not really sex."

The whole discussion of the sex that was so obviously in the poem (unless you're me and thought that a conversation was a conversation) really just amounted to, "Tee hee, SEX!" which is neither interesting nor was it the kind of treatment that I think the subject deserves.

And when there is explicitly sex? It's something abstract. Loneliness, a Utopian archetype, I don't know. But then I started thinking, maybe this attitude is why people can have sex and be flabbergasted that someone got pregnant because of it (yes, there are people like this. Yes, they make me feel stabby, too), or how people can be opposed to abortions and be totally ignorant about why anyone would need and/or want one.  Please tell me if I'm drawing false parallels here (I suspect I am) but I see this attitude everywhere -sex is brought up for the "Tee hee!" titillation factor, but any serious discussion of it never gets off the ground.

I also suspect that viewing explicit (though that doesn't necessarily mean graphic) sex in writing as some abstract theme like loneliness is in fact talking about the emotional and social dimensions of the subject, but if that's the case, how about some of the practical aspects? Why is there never any contraception in writing, for example? Or have I just been reading the wrong books and poems?

*Generally, I'm always awake in class. But the poems we were discussing dealt with religion and I really, really hate class discussions about religion. It's all, "Religion is sexist and causes wars! It is icky and I do not like it, (Sam I Am)!" and enough tossing around of the word "Judeo-Christian" and contrasting of "the mean Old Testament God" with "the loving New Testament God" that I just felt superbly stabby before an hour was up (on the first day we were discussing this author). So, 1. Don't use those terms around me if you want me to keep my good opinion of you, and 2. If I hear "Judeo-Christian" once more before the week is up, I will act on my stabby urges. (Not on a person. Maybe a desk. And no one wants a maimed desk. I won't hold myself responsible for it, either; you have been warned.)

Current Location: Closer to the peacocks than last year
Current Mood: coldcold
Current Music: cooling apparatus
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September 7th, 2009
12:19 pm


I'm Back.
Still here, though still also busy.

More importantly: There is a CUPCAKE and coffee shop like two blocks from me.

Why was I never told?

And why is it Labor Day? I can't even go in it now!

Current Mood: huuuungry -_-

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July 24th, 2009
02:40 pm


Writer's Block: Pick and Stick
If you could only eat one kind of cuisine—Mexican, Thai, French, Italian, Indian, Chinese, etc.—for the rest of your life, which one would you choose?
My first instinct was to yell "MEXICAN!" but then I said, "And Chinese! . . . And then Mediterranean."

Here in DC, they have these hot dog shacks all over the place. I first saw them and, as soon as I got over the novelty of seeing something advertised as kosher, went, "Eww. Who eats hot dogs?"*

Then I went, "So where do they put the taco wagons?"

And you know what? I have been totally unable to find any taco wagons. I haven't had my daily quesadillas for months. I haven't had my delicious straight-from-the-taco-wagon, it's-almost-like-actual-hunting-having-to-hunt-down-the-taco-wagon veggie burritos. It makes me stab my desk in frustration. I'm getting hungry just typing this out.

(The closest I've gotten to Mexican food is this Peruvian restaurant nearby, but I don't know about Peru at all, so I haven't gone in.)

*Who, indeed? I haven't had hot dogs for years and years and even I can tell they'd just be horrific.

Current Location: DC
Current Mood: Finally my icon is apropos
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July 21st, 2009
07:06 pm


The July 2009 Kdrama Post
Sorry this is bare-bones and I haven't got any profound "This is what the capitol of the United States is like" posts, but this is sort of important to me right now.

So for a few months earlier this year I was on-the-edge-of-my-seat waiting for Triple to come out, because 1. it is Kdrama, 2. it has ice skating (and I was in the middle of writing an ice skating story by total coincidence), and 3. it has Yoon Kye Sang in it. I like him a lot; he's pretty high on my To Do List. But the minute Triple actually came out, I completely lost interest. Like I read one episode recap at dramabeans and then just went, " . . . Meh."

So, in a sort of panicky "My god, have I lost all interest in things that I once loved? Does that mean I have depression and need to sit around the house with my head in my hands and my world turned blue?" feeling, I picked up The Man Who Can't Get Married, which, while having solved that problem (reassured me I still love the Kdrama and am therefore healthy) meh, I'm not freaking out about anything. (I've also been reading Samsooki et al.'s recaps of City Hall avidly. I want to be Samsooki's friend now, but last time I mentioned him, I went "Your argument is poopy!" and he went "You misrepresented my argument!" and I responded with something that came with emoticons and he never responded. Our friendship is doomed, I guess.)

Till THIS:

It is apparently a historical comedy with a Frenchman playing an Englishman who crash-lands on Jeju Island where women are strong-willed and wear shorts and dive for things and there's a love triangle somewhere (It is called Tamna the Island). I CAN'T FRICKIN' WAIT. And I hope my sitting on the edge of my seat lasts until I can actually watch it.

Current Location: DC
Current Mood: excitedexcited
Current Music: "Blues in Dallas," The Mountain Goats

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July 14th, 2009
08:07 pm


Sobbing My Failings Over the Internet
I want my boss to think I am interested in the work before me and have an active, engaged mind (and I believe I qualify for both of those things) but every time I'm around him and not asking specific questions about assigned work, I have absolutely nothing to say. Or my attempts to ask questions to get things rolling are answered too quickly. (So I either sound boring, bored, and/or uninterested.)

:( I'm just not impressive enough.

And I have a paper with topics to write about on here, but it's gone and I can't find time to write anyway.

Also, there are fireflies in DC (That and a ridiculous amount of escalators). They're pretty neato, except the concept of bugs that fly vertically and make their butts go bright yellow is a weird one.

Current Location: DC
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July 6th, 2009
04:06 pm


Before I Work On Any Substantive Post-
I have failed to save the desired amount this time. :( But I promise to save double that in the next payday. :<

(That was supposed to be a smiley so determined he almost looked constipated. I don't think it works. Just looks like an alien to me. Or Davy Jones from the Pirates of the Caribbean movie.)

I can put my fingers down to the second knuckle bones on the uttanasana (the this thing:

I feel I need to let you know that my boss is fascinating me right now. I'm not even sure the extent of my interest or even why he's so interesting, but that is one intriguing person.

Finally, who linked me? I really want to know.

I can't google myself until I become a published author (I have a policy. I call it my "No-googling-self-until-published policy").

I'll write more about Kdrama if you tell me (seriously not a hardship whatsoever)!


Current Location: DC
Current Mood: Tummy Hurts
Current Music: Fan is on.
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